I started showing abnormally early, 6 or 7 weeks actually, when for a first pregnancy, as well as being in good shape, one doesn't normally show until close to week 20. Well, there's just more proof that every woman and every pregnancy is different. For one, I have no body at all. I'm all legs. So baby has no where to go but out :) By week 10 I felt I was very noticeably protruding wondering how I was going to hide it for 2-3 more weeks before we spilled the beans!
Week 10 - little bump :)
I soon realized that no one even noticed yet. I was the one who looked at my belly everyday and could see the difference. I gave myself away too, not by the bump, but by the fact that I'm always absentmindedly cradling my tummy and rubbing it. Many a suspicion arose from such actions, so I'm now told. One really cool sensation I have been experiencing as of late, however, has been intense heat inside my belly. We will be driving, or I'll be walking and all of a sudden, this heat kicks on, from the inside! Like I have a little sauna or furnace and baby flicked on the switch. But not only is the heat crazy on the inside (but not uncomfortable in the least), when you touch my tummy, it's hot hot hot! it's so fascinating how our bodies are created to accommodate these little, growing beings. I love being a part of this miracle.
Besides the outward, physical changes, so were the inward. Emotionally and motionally. Emotionally speaking, I became more weepy, more confrontational (which if you know me, I'm not a confrontational person) and a bit anxious. The anxiety stemmed more from the fact that, other than not feeling super great and looking like a gained some mid-section weight, I didn't feel pregnant. Nor did I have my first appointment till almost 13 weeks. That's a long time to go, not knowing how baby is doing, how they're growing, if they're really and truly in there…you get the picture. I wasn't a wreck, which is good, but I could've easily become a wreck. Thanks God He helped me through that.
Now, motionally speaking, the nausea settled for a little bit, only coming to bother me once in a while, which was nice. Then I got a nice 24 hour flu bug or some such which threw me out of commission and that was followed shortly by a wicked head cold which progressed to an unpleasant chest cold! Here was one point of pregnancy that hit hard when I was hacking my lungs out, couldn't breathe, could barely sleep, etc….is that if you're pregnant you can't take ANYTHING! Or very little anyway. I went to the Safeway pharmacy, on the point of feeling like I was going to die if this cough didn't ease up. I walked up to the counter and spoke the words with hope "What can I take for a horrible cough/cold if I'm pregnant", to which the pharmacist looked casually at me and said simply, "nothing." I almost broke down and wept right there. But instead I pleaded "There's got to be SOMETHING, this cough is killing me," She offered some advice of something I could take, not saying the name of the product, just what was in it. At this point I was getting agitated with her non-helpfulness, but calmly was able to persuade her to come and show what that specifically would be. And I thought pharmacists were supposed to be helpful!
Well, I finally got through that and all was well….till about week 9 or 10. I can't say I had horrible morning sickness in the way of having to throw up all the time, but the queasiness became almost unbearable at times, as did the occasional heartburn. The slightest smell or sight or thought of certain foods would send me into a gaging reflux. Only now have I had a few days straight where I've felt pretty good. Hopefully we are onward and upward now! And boy I sure do love my garlic stuffed olives and pickles :) Speaking of which…...
Through the weeks Hayden has become quite attached to our growing little latte as well. It's been fun for me to see him welcome the role of daddy. He will gently rub my belly or talk to the baby (even though we know they can't hear just yet). It makes it so much more wonderful knowing he's all for this as well and just as happy and excited and nervous as I am. Periodically, throughout the first trimester, he would say to me "How much longer do we have to wait?" in reference to telling people our news. He was just as excited as I was to spread the word. At least our immediate family knew and we could talk about it with them. But Hayden is already protective of our little one and he makes sure I'm taking care of myself and therefore baby is being taken care of.
As we neared the 11-12 week mark we decided we could start telling some of our closest friends, and of course once we started telling them, we just started telling everyone because it felt so good to finally let it out! For me, though, it wasn't all quite real until I had my first maternity appointment. It seemed like July 19th was forever away and never going to get here. I wanted so badly to hear my baby's heartbeat and know there was something truly alive inside of me. I also knew the chances of hearing the heartbeat so early was also low and not to be discouraged or worried if we couldn't. But still, a mom-to-be can hope.
Finally the 19th dawned, bright, sunny, and promising to be extremely hot. I wore a light dress to help stay cool, especially with my random hot flashes I get now and then. I arrived early, just to be sure I'd know where to go and how to find the maternity clinic at the hospital. My stomach was a knot of butterflies, and it wasn't baby moving butterflies either. Today would solidify that this is really happening. It's not imagined, there's no turning back, this is for real. Also, I had absolutely NO idea what to expect or what they were going to do, and of course was nervous about that as well.
The routine begins; pee in a cup, take your weight and height, check your blood pressure. Then comes the first appointment onslaught of questions about everything from marital status to health history, not just mine, not just my family's, but Hayden's as well. The nurse was pleasantly surprised at how healthy I was and the fact that I didn't smoke, drink or do drugs :) I aim to please. Of course, I had questions to ask. Many in fact, but could I remember any of them once I was there?….nope. I need to start making a list for my next appointment. That pregnancy brain can really get you.
Then the Dr. came in. He was really nice and friendly and made me feel a bit more at ease, considering I'm sitting on the table in nothing but a gown, almost jumping with nervousness. He checked out the size of my uterus, which was good and then brought out……THE DOPPLER. A fun little machine that he uses to try to pick up the baby's heartbeat. Now my heart began pumping. I laid there, waiting and waiting. He moved the machine around my belly, here and there, trying to listen for a fast, small heartbeat. For the longest time all we could hear was my own heart and I wished I could turn it off, even for just a moment, if only to hear my baby. Then, there it was. A split second of baby heartbeat, and then baby moved, so the search continued. I'm glad the Dr. was persistent. He found baby's hiding spot again and then, for a glorious 5-6 seconds I heard the beautiful music of our little latte's heartbeat. I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face in that moment. It was real, baby was alive and well, and all this wasn't my imagination at all. The Dr. then checked me out to see if my date was accurate and I was basically right on schedule….13 weeks and counting.
Even after the appointment, when I had to go get blood samples taken, it didn't matter, because it was all for baby. I was floating on cloud 9.
So, we are week 13 + 1 day today and doing great. I think I'm going to go and have a few pickles now (my garlic stuffed olives are gone :( need to pick up some more) and get on with my day.
13 weeks, a definite bump is present already and I love it :)
Remember to enjoy this beautiful weather, no matter how hot (just remember the horrid winter we endured), and always stop to hear the whisper and taste the sun.
till next time!
